An open letter to ‘our sister’ Esther Muthoni Passaries

An open letter to ‘our sister’ Esther Muthoni Passaries

By Dorcas Sarkozy

Ms. Esther M. Passaris,

Normally on Sundays, I pen a piece titled “DorKuSpeaks” where I try to “drop some knowledge” on visitors to my wall.

Today, this Sunday, I will eschew that and address you directly.

Dada, let’s not kid one another, it has been a duas hebdomades horribilis – a horrible two weeks – for you and by extension, your loved ones.

Literally and figuratively, you’ve been disrobed and exposed as a conniving underhanded two-faced slay queen who readily uses what her mama gave her to get ahead.

In other words Bi. Esther, you’ve been exposed as an opportunistic politician willing to do whatever it takes – to get what she wants.

There are so many takeways from your tiff with Mike Sonko that I don’t know where to start so in no particular order, here goes. Do note that some of these lessons overlap so take away whatever salient point you can glean from them:

LESSON #1: When in a hole, stop digging. Take a deep breath and figure out a way to extricate yourself. Ask for help if must but stop digging.

LESSON #2: When you wrestle with a pig, in shithole no less, both of you get dirty only that the pig enjoys it! Esther, you are wrestling with a pig, an overweight one at that – in a cesspool no less. They are having fun – at your expense. Stop and heed Lesson #1.

LESSON #3: Whatever misdeed is done in the dark, behind closed hotel room doors, eventually become exposed.

Crisis Management 101:

Own your story; your narrative. If you don’t define yourself, others will to wit: If you don’t tell your story, others will and the “others” in this case includes an ex-con.

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LESSON #4: Politics is a blood sport – especially in the shithole that is Kenya – which brings me to the next lesson:

LESSON #5: Those who refuse to learn from history are doomed to make the same mistake. Go back in Kenya’s history and confirm Lesson #4.

LESSON #5: Beauty is not only skin-deep, it is fleeting – and can only get you so far. Sooner or later, you are bound to be exposed as someone lacking in depth and in intellect.

LESSON #6: One that I have harped on and written about as recent as this week: No permanent friends. Just permanent interests – in politics that is. Additionally,

LESSON #7: It is never personal. Don’t take slights, especially in the political arena, personally. Besides,

LESSON #8: Consider the source. Seriously? Sonko actually got you riled up? An ex-con with his reputation and thuggish comportment got you all twisted? NKT!! Side-by-side, with neither of you saying a word, who do you think an alien would trust or seek to know?

LESSON #9: If you cannot stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. Once again, politics is a sport for big boys and big girls – metaphorically that is. So “woman up” and face the music.

LESSON #10: Never let them see you cry – or even see you sweat. Animals such as Sonko smell fear – and pounce!

LESSON #11: For all the hue and cry and #MeToo gains women have made over the years, it is still a man’s world – one they’ve eff’d up royally – but they are still the dominant force. You and I have gotta be twice, even three times as good as them to get half or even a third of the recognition they get!

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LESSON #12: Own your shit – literally. See Lessons #9 and #10.

LESSON #13: Politicians have the reputation of lawyers who are just above used car salesmen in integrity. You made this bed – See Lesson #12.

LESSON #14: Animals are at their most dangerous when they are wounded and/or cornered and you, Ms. Passaris, are now dealing with a wounded (and arguably unstable) animal.

You’ve been warned.

LESSON #15: You are the company you keep or to let you down easy, if you lay with flea-infested animals, it’s inevitable that you’ll end up with some – fleas that is.

You’ve shown us your friend/s. Now do the right thing.

LESSON #16: See Lesson #14. There are some folks who have little to lose and have zero chills about taking everyone and anyone down with them. You are dealing with one such person.

LESSON #17: What do you want your legacy to be? See Lesson #16.

LESSON #18: Yes, your middle name does give you a modicum of entitlement but unless your bloodline extends to those from families who can say / ask, sans batting an eye, “Mta Do?”, you owe your constituents an explanation. See the lessons about getting ahead of a developing scandal involving you and owning the narrative / storyline about you – warts and all.

LESSON #19: Similar to some of the earlier lesson: All you have is name and reputation – which is on life support. Your opponent on the other hand, doesn’t give a flying fig about his name and/or reputation. He has neither to brag about.

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Finally, LESSON #20: As trite and contrived as this one sounds, that which does not “kill” you only makes you stronger though I offer this with the caution:

You are dealing with folks who eat their young!

Hon. Esther Muthoni P, OGW, YNBW (You’ve Now Been Warned).

Like those with zero vested interest in the economy say:

En Kamano. Awacho kendo Atieko.


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